Shirley Wiles-Dickinson

Shirley Wiles-Dickinson is the youngest of four girls in a Midwestern family. In 2009, her sister was brutally murdered. She writes about her experience following this loss.

Articles:

Celebration Service Brings Mother Solace

My 40-year-old son, Jeff, passed away very unexpectedly on 12/13/2018. I thought my sister’s death was the worse thing I would ever go through. Then Jeff died. It is difficult to describe the feelings. Profound sadness and heartache beyond anything I have ever felt before. Recently, I thought about Jeff’s celebration of life. Jeff struggled with his beliefs so I knew he wouldn’t want a pastor that didn’t know him talking about him and his life. Jeff’s viewing was on 12/18 and the next morning he went out for cremation. We had the celebration on 12/19 with an empty urn […]

September 25: Day of Remembrance for Murder Victims

September 25th is the national day of remembrance for all murdered victims. This year will mark the fifth year of a national day of remembrance to those victims our nation lost to murder. Communities across the nation will hold services throughout the day to remember loved ones who were murdered. Some will be candlelight vigils, some will have guest speakers and others will have moments of silence. For the families and friends of murdered victims, this day sends a powerful message. Our country cares and will remember those lives cut short. A national day of remembrance also reminds the nation […]

Newborn Niece Completes Circle of Life

My sister died two years ago. Her first grandchild was born just over a week ago, a baby girl name Victoria. My niece, Victoria’s mother, is a strong, beautiful woman. Her husband called me that morning to tell me they were at the hospital. He promised to keep me updated throughout the day. At noon, he called to tell me she was dilated to 7 and he was having lunch to get ready for the big push! He told me his wife, my niece, my sister’s daughter, was doing remarkable. He said not a whimper from her; she was staying […]

A New Year’s Hope: Prayer for Peace

Prayer for Peace If there is to be peace in the world, There must be peace in the nations. If there is to be peace in the nations, There must be peace in the cities. If there is to be peace in the cities, There must be peace between neighbors. If there is to be peace between neighbors, There must be peace in the home. If there is to be peace in the home, There must be peace in the heart. I recently came across this prayer and have spent hours thinking about it. In the world today, we so […]

The Gift of the Blanket

When my son was born, over thirty three years ago, I received a beautiful handmade blanket for him. I remember the day I received the blanket. My sister, Sandra, handed me the wrapped box. I carefully unwrapped the box, lifted the lid and slowly folded the tissue paper back. There, in the box, was the beautiful hand knit blanket. As I looked at the blanket, Sandra exclaimed, “I made it!” I must have looked at her questioningly, because again she exclaimed, “I made it, really, I made it!” Sandra, who was murdered two years ago, wasn’t known for her domestic abilities, especially […]

Turning a Corner?

My sister, Sandra, was murdered. I say it, I write, I think it, and still, 26 months after her death, I have moments that I can’t believe it happened. I have moments that it still seems surreal. I have moments that I ask myself, how did this happen to my sister, our family. I did not witness the murder. I did, however, witness the murder trial, the conviction and the sentence. I know how she died. I know it was brutal. I know she suffered a great, great deal. I saw pictures, I heard testimony and I have a very […]

Sister is Gone, Her Legacy is Immortal

“What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, remains and is immortal”. ~ Albert Pine When I heard those words, I immediately thought about my sister. Sandra was a school teacher. She taught school for well over 30 years. She was passionate about her work, her students. The last 10 years of her life, she taught special needs students. Sandra was a kind, caring, a very compassionate woman. Just over two years ago, when she died, I remember hearing people talk about the things she did for others. The night of her […]

Aftershock of a Murder

It will soon be 26 months since my beautiful sister, Sandra, lost her life by the hands of a murderer. I think back on the last 26 months and all that happened, all I learned. I often described those months as a rollercoaster. Emotions and feelings were up and down, up and down. Lately, I’ve likened the experience to a personal earthquake. The day I learned of my sister’s death it did feel like an earthquake. The epi center of that quake was my core, my being. I was thrown off center, suddenly. Month after month, I felt off kilter, […]

Guilty! Sister Comforted That Murderer is Confined Forever

The trial for my sister’s murderer ended yesterday. It was a very intense week to say the least. The state rested about 3:30 pm. The case was turned over to the jury about 4 pm. We waited. I felt confident. I knew the prosecutors had done their very best. Still we waited. Finally, about 4 hours later, we were told the jury had reached a verdict. At that moment, I remember thinking, I hope they get it right. I hope they listened, I hope they reviewed their notes and the evidence. As the jury filed in, not one of them […]

After 700 Days, a Jury Trial for Man Accused

On August 24, 2011, I attended our 8th pre trial hearing for my sister’s murderer. Our first jury trial date was June 7, 2010, only to be continued until June 21, 2010, only to be continued to September 13, 2010, only to be continued until November 29, 2010, only to be continued until March 7, 2011, only to be continued until May 16, 2011, only to be continued until July 11, 2011, only to be continued until September 6, 2011. Yesterday there was no mention of any more continuances. The judge even cancelled her vacation so the jury trial could […]

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